posted July 28, 2002 07:20 AM               

*sigh* I miss Fred and his mint green shoes... hey, and when people begin to mistake me for Tubbs, I guess I have to stay out of the sun for a while...

And now for something completely different...

posted July 31, 2002 06:28 PM               

And Steph, you better not bite us, ok? , Promise to be a good gator.

If it's any consolation Alex, I'm wearing the mint-green shoes this very second, along with my white suit and pink leather tie. You know there are quite a few badguys here in Norway to catch. I'm always on duty. Haven't you heard of tanning-lotion Tubbs?

posted August 01, 2002 01:24 PM               

Steph: I think her enemies should watch out, but the $60 million question is: Do you bite your lovers too?

posted August 01, 2002 04:57 PM               

No, Steph doesn't bite her lovers, otherwise she'd be a black widow... but I have to admit I don't have a clue how alligators make love to each other...

posted August 07, 2002 05:42 PM               

Once upon a time, there lived two brooms. They got to know eachother really well living in the same closet and eventually decided to get married.

On the day of the wedding, the bride broom looked lovely in her white gown, and the groom broom looked handsome with his black bowtie.

At the wedding reception, the bride broom leaned over to the groom broom and whispered in his ear "I think I'm going to have a little whisking broom."

The groom broom went pale and shouted "BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!!"

posted August 12, 2002 11:46 AM               

Here are a couple jokes:

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"

Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."

Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think"

Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"

Teacher: "Sure."

Little Johnny: "There are three women at the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"

Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."

Little Johnny; "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."

And....

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

Enjoy!

posted August 13, 2002 04:08 PM               

Here's one for ya Truly Bad Taste, so why do I laugh so???

Sister Mary Katherine lived in a convent, a block away from Jack's liquor store.

One day, in walked the Sister and said, "Oh, Jack, give me a pint o' the brandy."

"Sister Mary Katherine," exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I have never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"

"Oh," she blushed, "it's only for the Mother
Superior." Her voice dropped, "It helps her constipation, you know."

So Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night he closed the store and walked home. As he passed the convent, who should he see but Sister Mary Katherine completely snockered. She was singing and dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a
bird, right there on the sidewalk.

A crowd was gathering. Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Mary Katherine! For shame!! And you told me this was for
the Mother Superior's constipation!"

posted August 13, 2002 05:34 PM               

********LAST CHANCE NOT TO READ IT**********

Ok, here it comes:

The teacher asks his class if they can tell him what women can and men cannot.

"Women can get pregnant and so they can have children" says Timmy.

"Women can bear more pain than men can" says Susie.... and so on.

Each and every pupil says something concerning the teacher's question. Finally, only Johnny's left. So teacher asks again: "Don't you know something, women can and men can't, Johnny?"

The boy thinks for a moment, but after a few seconds he says "I know something", then a smile on his face appears and proud of his answer to come Johnny stands up, looks around and says:

"Women can have sex after they're deceased"

AND to raise the level just a little bit:

First schoolday at the elementary school. The teacher comes into the classroom. All pupils sit there, looking at him with big eyes. Teacher walks around in the room, watching the children and in his friendly way of communicating he asks them what their names are. After all those Bills, Teds and Marys, the teacher comes to the last row. Three children are sitting there. He looks at the first kid, a cute little girl with big bright eyes, curly blonde hair and a smile that could melt ice. He asks: "And what could your name be, little princess?" - "Cherryblossom" the kid answers with a voice whispering with a voice like a thousand tiny little tinkerbells. - "Ah, what a wonderful but extraordinary name... why did your parents gave it to you?" - "When my mother was pregnant with me, she sat under a cherry tree when the soft wind blew a blossom her way and it landed directly on her belly" The teacher smiles and walks on to the next child. It is a handsome boy, hair as dark as ebony with eyes that seem to show deep widsom and understanding, surrounded by a nearly majestic aura. "Hmm, and what could be your name, young man?" he asks. -"Appleblossom" the boy answers with a voive like the wind in the willows on a warm and sunny afternoon. - "Aw, a beautiful name, but I'm curious: Why did your parents gave it to you?" - "When my mother was pregnant with me, she sat down under an apple tree, when softly and slowly a blossom fell on her belly. Teacher smiles again and walks to the last kid in the row. It looks a little bit... strange and he ain't able to say if it's a boy or girl. The kid is drooling and it seems to lack any kind of wisdom or beauty. Carefully the teacher raises his warm voice and asks: "And so, kid, what could be your name?" And with a deep and loud voice the child answers "TREE!!!".

posted September 02, 2002 08:06 PM               

Richard

posted September 18, 2002 05:24 PM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by sweetsnail:
Well....I like Donovan McNabb. That's the only reason I wanted the Eagles to win. (He happens to be on one of my fantasy football teams.) Mm...forgot Richard was a 'Skins fan. I think the Skins need pretty new uniforms. Look what happened when the Broncos got new uni's. They won back to back Super Bowls! Dang, I wish I was in a football pool this year. I correctly picked all the games this week...I could have won some money!
-stephanie

---

You know how it goes, Steph. If you had entered the football pool, you wouldn't have won many games. That's the sad thing.

As for Redskins uniform, they will only be used for home games during this season only, as a way to commemorate the team's 70th anniversary.

Richard

posted September 18, 2002 11:01 PM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kellye:
RICHARD! I want to know how to do the quote thingy, and I want to know right now, dang hehe.

Kellye

---

Kellye: On the toolbar of each post, which contains the date and time, there is an icon that looks like a piece of paper with a red arrow that points to your right. This icon is the last icon on the right side. Click on the icon, you will immediately be given the post screen, with the post you want to quote.

Richard

posted September 18, 2002 11:52 PM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by BryterLayter77:
Kellye: On the toolbar of each post, which contains the date and time, there is an icon that looks like a piece of paper with a red arrow that points to your right. This icon is the last icon on the right side. Click on the icon, you will immediately be given the post screen, with the post you want to quote.

Richard

[This message has been edited by BryterLayter77 (edited September 18, 2002).]

---

hehe

Kellye

posted September 21, 2002 02:48 PM               

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kellye:
Yay! Richard, thank you. I love you Richard!

Kellye

---

You're welcome, Kellye. I love you too, just like I love everyone! Yep, Steph is right, we're one big love fest. I can feel it, oh yes I can.

Richard

posted September 23, 2002 10:41 AM               

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!