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Author	Topic: Poetry writers
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 13, 2001 12:44 PM Does duncan inspire any of you to write poetry? I have writen poetry since i was little. When i heard and listened to Duncans music for the past month i've had an inspirational boom. He talks about so much things i can relate to. I was just curios about u writers out there if hes inspired u the same way he has me, or maybe even if u dont write poetry but listening to his song makes you want to. Thanks again Pat IP: Logged
ECPDonut Member Posts: 7 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 13, 2001 03:26 PM I write poetry and although Duncan hasn't inspired me yet, seeing him live in Boston yesterday might! I do want to write a new poem, though, but my poetry is every e. e. cummings-like. What do you write? IP: Logged
Springroz Senior Member Posts: 546 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 13, 2001 05:48 PM I write. the first, well second, time i listened to pm, i admit i had an "inspirational boom" also. i wrote a lot. ill share if asked. IP: Logged
Britt Senior Member Posts: 164 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 13, 2001 09:05 PM I'd love to hear some of your stuff Mari!! IP: Logged
another mystery Member Posts: 27 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 13, 2001 09:19 PM Phantom moon and the debut haven't imspired me so much actually, but i find humming to inspire me simply because the lyrics are much more in tune with my own style than the other two...less of a romantic vein. I find that that says it all is a very inspirational song, especially if you've heard duncan talk about its meaning. IP: Logged
sweetsnail Senior Member Posts: 144 Registered: Apr 2001	posted July 14, 2001 05:32 PM Yeah, I'm with the "Humming" thing. I wrote part of a novel listing just to "Humming", then my disk went to hell and I only have ten of about thirty pages left. My back up disk conked out too. As for poetry, I haven't really been inspired to write any while listening to Duncan, I just write stories while listening to him. Ok, that's it. -Steph IP: Logged
Springroz Senior Member Posts: 546 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 14, 2001 11:03 PM ecp, were u directing that question to anyone in particular? i cant tell u whom i write like. truefully i have no idea. my goal when i write is to take whatever image is in my head and get it down and not get too frustrated with words. i can tell u this. imagery is a HUGE part of my style. maybe britt can tell me who i write like. IP: Logged
wolfspirit Senior Member Posts: 555 Registered: Apr 2001	posted July 14, 2001 11:57 PM I write sometimes so my heart can think cuz what I feel is mindfully real By way of the heart lies the important link for thoughts to come from my soul - With pen and paper I visit this place where mind and spirit join to create this space I'm thoughtfully writing, but my heart's in control. uh, impromptu poem. In no way representing myself here as some kind of poet. I am a longing songwriter without a piano. I'd love to see some REAL poets post here! What a treat that would be... Bring it on!!! in edit - re-read your topic Pat and I guess you weren't asking so much for people to post poems, sorry Duncan's music inspires me constantly on many different creative levels. [This message has been edited by wolfspirit (edited July 15, 2001).] IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 15, 2001 07:42 PM With a light spirit, i sit here alone, with a light spirit, i sit here and morn, For my light spirit is tired of waiting, waiting not to be hurt, To reach out to her is what my heart is stating, And yet i know what my words are worth. Worth not a thosand kisses, worth not a pretty lady, like the one my heart misses. But only worth nothing, for that is what i could give. All though i felt something, when im with you i live. IP: Logged
wolfspirit Senior Member Posts: 555 Registered: Apr 2001	posted July 15, 2001 08:06 PM Hauntingly beautiful!! IP: Logged
Springroz Senior Member Posts: 546 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 15, 2001 08:28 PM Are you guys open to criticism or are we just sharing? My turn. this one was brought on my Steven's lines in This Is How My Heart Heard That little thing in tears they call the truth & If love is a waste of tears / On someone who is missing Nucleus Tear In sadness lost and lover�s skulls Contemplate love and undulations� If you are right, and love brings tears because of forceful partings or rich roses; Then tears must carry some crystal truth. Truth of caring, truth of love and vapid skin The speck in liquid, A mirror shine in the glittering afternoon. So if love is shedding love's tears and truth runs childishly with it, Then love becomes a waste of truth. the salt, a smear of wasted kiss So should I love to delete this gift And learn to rock my solid solitaire� I know this answer weaves deep fabric Laced in time and purpose wise air. Until then, my ears milk your truth, Love Asleep, speak rains of cactus vapors square blocked deep within my lung. My approbation, wonder, bewilderment still And the funny chords your fingers love And those pudding vocals. Give me hours of mastery! Give me years of love. So now bring the fabric to my eyes Dear tender eyes vast wonder stare, kisses under blue; say goodnight to tired days and screaming gums. To my Mister and to his merry pain Breeding salt in my palm, May his music grow blue fishes blue in exquisite love around navel tums. Feel free to comment. Ive gotta tough skin. Feel free to be honest. I am actually quite ashamed that this was the best i could do. IP: Logged
Scribe Member Posts: 28 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 15, 2001 08:41 PM It's a wonderful attempt and some memorable lines Spring. Although I'm not sure the structure you were attempting. However thats my achilles heel when I work on poetry. " Then tears must carry some crystal truth. Truth of caring, truth of love and vapid skin" Smart wording there. It caught my eye rather sharply. Nice Job IP: Logged
Springroz Senior Member Posts: 546 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 15, 2001 08:49 PM Thanks Scribe. Truthfully, i didnt think much about structure. i rarely do. i hate the word, i hate the principle. this one is one of my personal collection, meant for my eyes only. so hell, what do i care if its not perfect. i will use this idea later and write something better. but until then... also, this poem was meant to blister the air, not paper. i think im making excuses now. how embarassing. when talking about music, especially duncan's, i always feel defeated going into it. so thank u for your comments on my "good attempt" IP: Logged
wolfspirit Senior Member Posts: 555 Registered: Apr 2001	posted July 15, 2001 08:50 PM I'll honestly say that I'm pissed off that you're missing the Duncan concert. Dang that man!! I even asked him straight up on the board to get you a ticket!! Perhaps he just did not have time, being that he was in Dallas last night and NJ tonight. I'll give him that. As for being honest about your writing, I'd have to say that I when I read you I have to reach a place within me that doesn't get visited very often - a place of depth and understanding, a more genuine acknowledgment of the power of where the written word can take a person, and many good reasons why that place is worth visiting I really wasn't very serious about my own above-posted poem, though I have written many things on a deeper creative level. But no one hired me to critique or even post poetry (LOL) - I like to read it, especially when it comes from the souls of those truly gifted...last time I'll comment. Thanks for sharing!! Shari. IP: Logged
Scribe Member Posts: 28 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 15, 2001 08:54 PM Well SPRING I firmly believe turn about is fair play so here is one of mine. It was published two years or so back but it was written while listening to Duncan's CD. I believe it was November that inspired this poem for me.... MIRRORED As I hear the water run, peer into my reflection, see a face rash-red, descend my digit again, lean and purge, lose myself. I wonder, is it me? Or an image I see? [This message has been edited by Scribe (edited July 15, 2001).] IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 15, 2001 09:41 PM Hey spring that was pretty good wording! its poetry that makes u tthink.. makes u wonder. Scribe had a good poem also, short but long when u take the time to think about what your stating IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 15, 2001 10:34 PM I like to share my poetry and im only 17 so mine might sound kinda juvinile but please bare with(:Please listen to "My heart heard when you read this please. P.S. try not to read real fast, lett it sink in. Thankyou much tell me how u like it. Fate You say you Love in that cold heart of yours. But for you, Love is another word; not to be shown, but to be heard. You take, you want, to your perfection; I try hard but you never listen. I want you to be proud, look what good I do. Yet you push yourself to where you are the helpless. Thats the way, you just want to sit, in the evel blanket of darkness. When can you remeber you wern't some drill sergent. A sergent from hell, Plowing through what you desire; never to pick up the pieces you set ablaze with fire. You plow for me stait, and soon i will brake; and leave from here it seems my fate. Ive tried to help, i tried to reason. But you look at me in aberation. For trying to console,? I cant regret,? But still your love is lost in a mist of hate i fret. The irredesent feeling of hate lingers here. Ive tried to fix it, but still i fear. I must leave this place with just one tear. a tear, for a FAMILLY I wish i had. And my memories, that were only sad. I am those pieces u plow right through. but u never knew, how strong my love was for you. IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 15, 2001 11:11 PM Hey duncan or Micah, Do u think u could write a poem of your own on here. It sure would be cool to read it. Dont feal obligated or n e thting, i just though it might be neat. thanks much, Pat IP: Logged
Springroz Senior Member Posts: 546 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 15, 2001 11:31 PM Pat, im only 19. age has nothing to do with it. and never think that what you do is juvenile. Realize that all my commentary is EXTREMELY PERSONAL. if you dont agree, dont take my advice. remember, stick to your own voice. no one can show u that. Fate It was interesting you called it Fate. Almost like you saw it coming...maybe youd like to explore that a bit. You say you Love in that cold heart of yours. But for you, Love is another word; not to be shown, but to be heard. alrighty. Love poem. these are always fun. so im looking for a word not shown, but heard. You take, you want, to your perfection; I try hard but you never listen. well what are you saying? I want you to be proudis this what your saying?, look what good I do. Yet you push yourself to where you are the helpless. Thats the way, you just want to sit, in the evel evil? blanket of darkness.hey you cheated! forget all the other shit. the "blanket of darkness" is the good stuff. how do u feel now? angry? sad? confused? i completely lost you while you were talking about her. and forget her, lets talk about darkness... When can you remeber you wern't some drill sergent. how come im thinking mom issues? A sergent from hell, is there another kind? Plowing ohhh! cool word. Plow. I love it. such a violation! stick to this image of violation and betrayl. i know i tend to get a bit freaky (and writing is a great place to get freaky) but when you said plow, i automatically thought rape. maybe bc im a girl and something like that would affect me. but in all honesty, it sounds like this girl raped you emotionally. how did it feel? through what you desire; never to pick up the pieces you set ablaze with fire. You plow again with the plowing for me stait, and soon i will brake; and leave from here it seems my fate. hey bub, it sounds to me like you aint going anywhere. welcome to hell. Ive tried see? stuck. we all try... to help, i tried to reason. But you look at me in aberation. For trying to console,? I cant regret,? too much punctuation my friend But still your love is lost in a mist of hate i fret. The irredesent feeling of hate lingers here.hey more nugget goodness that you just left. HATE! its a powerful word. whats it like? Ive tried to fix it, but still i fear. I must leave this place with just one tear. you know, you keep saying your are gonna leave. but yet your still here. a tear, for a FAMILLY I wish i had. was i right about mom? And my memories, that were only sad. well how sad? I am those pieces u plow hello!!! right through. but u never knew, how strong my love was for you well, how strong was it? Scribe, i loved yours. i love short and to the point. Brevity is the soul of wit, right? The middle rocked!! i love those lines "descend my digit again, lean and purge, lose myself." sweet. [This message has been edited by Springroz (edited July 15, 2001).] IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 15, 2001 11:53 PM Your right it was about my mom. I dont like a lot of structure, but some, in my poetry. ohh and i cant spell worth shit. I like how u ->critiek(<--misspelled) my poetry. You sound like you can express yourself very well. what i ment by" love is a word no to be shown, butt to be heard" is my mom never showed she loved me that much but she liked to hear me say I Love You Mom, even though i dont think she cared thatt much she justt liked to hear it(wierd huh?) I ment plow as plow through , desroy. butt thats how a guy sees it i guess though(: not rape thatd be sick. lol . I did leave my mom, i wrote this after i did. I left a 15 years of age. The punctuation ,? means im asking a question but I put the comma there to let u know not to pause longer than a comma. My Love is extremely strong for my mom still. Im just waiting for the mistt to rise, shall i say. IP: Logged
BrunetteJuliette Senior Member Posts: 99 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 16, 2001 01:38 AM Pat - I just have to say I really liked your poem! That was simply incredible! Your words expressed power and much emotion.I admire your courage to share your poetry with everyone here as well.I write a lot myself but never seem to find the courage to let someone else read it.All in all I would have to say very well done. - (�`�._.��`^> Julie <^��`�._.��) IP: Logged
Mangotigerlily Senior Member Posts: 96 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 16, 2001 01:38 PM Yeah- I do lots of poetry. I've post some here a long while ago, but I've had like no time to come here as much since my job changed. I missed sharing with you guys. IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 16, 2001 02:30 PM Thankyou Julie Feel free to postt any poetry guys its fun reading them. Poetry is one of the bestt ways to express your self. if u dont mind i have abother i was hoping u guys could edit for me. Dream The curves of your body console me. But where art thou? It seems i can only see you when i dream. In that dream,I am a Tiger, A Tiger on a Prowl. A Prowl for for manhood, a Prowl for LOVE. A then I find you. I see your eyes such a buetiful blue. I know for me they hold the Truth. Truth.... Truth of Love, Truth of Fate, Only her to be my soulmate. You can't find Love, Love finds you, But never, wait for Love. We tell ourselves Love can wait, After I finish highshool, After I graduate. Listen to me, LOVE WAITS FOR ONE THING, AND THAT ONE THING IS NOTHING. So siez the day. You only live once. And count your blessings, That you've found someone you Love. And did not wait, And did not marry someone in the end you'll hate. Thanks again guys, this one wasnt that good. Pat IP: Logged
Scribe Member Posts: 28 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 16, 2001 06:40 PM Thanks Springroz for the Kind words. It is a very personal poem of mine and took a few years to get the Strength to send it to Literary Magazines. To Pat There's something to be said by your words of love to be found. TO be honest I have a hard time casting down words in regards to wanting to find the one. Later, Scribe IP: Logged
Springroz Senior Member Posts: 546 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 16, 2001 09:23 PM Pat, im gonna email my comments to u. They arent bad. dont worry. So who is next up to bat? Julie, you are always welcome to post. C'mon. you have seen our comments. nothing bad. we arent vicious. we are all kind souls. Mango? what about u? IP: Logged
sweetsnail Senior Member Posts: 144 Registered: Apr 2001	posted July 17, 2001 01:55 AM Ok, here's one. I'm just gonna write and see what happens. I'm to lazy to go find one and come back. -Steph Black Cats eyes seen in the dark nothing more Night stars shining moon disending lights out come sleep Tunnel light on ends silence dripping unseen aprehension of unknown and seen Future hidden from sight horrible? fright? untold freedom? maybe safe dark untouched ground to come IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 17, 2001 12:29 PM hey sweetsnail. That was great! I like the sentence fragments thing. I know some of you got some poetry out there u want to people to here. dont be afraid to share we wont murder your poem(: thanks, Pat IP: Logged
JustJenn Senior Member Posts: 462 Registered: Apr 2001	posted July 17, 2001 12:33 PM I have been reading, everyone's poems, and just wanted to say thank you for having the courage to share. IP: Logged
sweetsnail Senior Member Posts: 144 Registered: Apr 2001	posted July 18, 2001 01:35 AM I'm not scared. I'm just lazy. I didn't want to find a copy and type it up last night. Heck, I'm glad someone responded. I seem to have the luck where I post and don't hear anything. I have posted a few here somewhere...Might have to hunt for them....Maybe tomorrow I'll get some more up. -Steph IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 19, 2001 04:27 PM Heres another. Dark but more luminous than ever, soul...... demon? maybe angel? we see another day. sun kissing the due teared grass. tulips, roses, dafidils. night. dark but more luminous than ever. IP: Logged
Springroz Senior Member Posts: 546 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 19, 2001 05:36 PM hey pat did u get my monsterous email? good job. i like. not a thing to say about it. IP: Logged
Pat4me2003 Member Posts: 25 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 20, 2001 10:13 AM Yes Spring i got the e-mail, u opened my eyes to some things that i could do. Thanks. Hey spring how bout you post a poem? Pat IP: Logged
Springroz Senior Member Posts: 546 Registered: Mar 2001	posted July 20, 2001 06:06 PM okie dokie. not really a poem. more of what i call a scratching. just a random think i have in my notebook. the vapid room fallen before yan a counter-spice to poetry and pretty pictures are stagnant against framed white walls fold and pirated back to less likened history ignorance because of confidence or lack of communicated hollowed barks To instead focus on the proud. A dog weighed against a flower The motion evaporated as paint hardened Until the landscape American was concluded feel free to comment. who's next? scribe, i think its ur turn. IP: Logged
Scribe Member Posts: 28 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 20, 2001 08:07 PM I'll repost another poem soon. Something a little more modern. -Scribe [This message has been edited by Scribe (edited July 23, 2001).] IP: Logged
Scribe Member Posts: 28 Registered: Jul 2001	posted July 23, 2001 07:09 PM Anybody else care to post a poem until I can find one thats more fitting? -Scribe IP: Logged

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