posted August 08, 2002 01:39 AM            

The credits open with a view of an apartment building from a handheld camera and then a view from inside one of the apartments, looking down on the city. A view down a hall in the building, one by one, the doors open and a head sticks out from each one, all characters wave. The camera reverses to show the lead character of the show, Jenn. "Just Jenn" appears on the screen as Jenn's image fades.

The show opens with Jenn talking on the phone to an unknown person. There's a knock on the door and still talking, she opens it and Richard and Steph walk in. They proceed to sit on the couch and watch as Jenn paces back and forth listening to whatever the person on the phone is saying.
Richard: So who do you bet it is this time?
Steph: I don't know. Maybe that actor fellow she went out with the other night. What was his name?
Richard: Ben something, wasn't it? That taller dude who was in Armageddon.
Steph: No, he was the week before. This one was Tom something.

Jenn: I don't think it's working out. Sorry. Have a good day. (she hangs up the phone and looks at Richard and Steph) It's just difficult when people don't get the hint. It's like you don't want to be mean, but at the same time you don't really care and want them to get the hint and bug off.

Steph: Yes. I have the same problem.
Richard: I never have that problem. I can be quite blunt.
Jenn: Good for you. You should really give us a lesson in being blunt one day.
Richard: I'll definantly think about that. So what was wrong with this dude.
Jenn: Well, for one thing, he wore sandals on our date.
Steph: What's wrong with sandals?
Jenn: The sandals weren't the problem, it was his feet that bothered me. They were just...well, ugly. After one look, I could hardly carry on a conversation without thinking about his hideous feet. He was in serious need of a pedicure.
Richard: Oh yes. Feet have always been the way my relationships have been made or broken.
Steph: Well, I guess every man can't be Garth Brooks.
Jenn: True, but I think you could at least take the time to scrub the dirt off your feet so your toenails don't look so black like they are about to fall off. Anyway, what's new with you two?
Steph: Nothing.
Richard: Not much.
Jenn: Sounds terribly exciting.
Steph: Well, are we going to see a new movie tonight?
Jenn: Oh, I almost forgot. Yes. That one about whales. Looks like a bunch of crap.
Richard: Well, couldn't be much worse than that one about dolphins.
Jenn: I think it could be. It's got the same director. He probably substituted whales for dolphins and recycled the script.
Steph: I can hardly contain my excitement.
Jenn: Well, I need your support guys. Otherwise I'll be tempted to fall asleep or run out before the opening credits finish, which ever comes first.
Richard: Who allows crap like "Dolphin Fervor" to even get in the door of a movie exec's office?
Jenn: Same people who think "American Beauty" was a masterpiece, I guess.
Steph: Now you know I liked it.
Jenn: And I'll forgive your faults since you are my friend.
Steph: Thanks.

Scene two

A guy is sitting outside in the hallway playing guitar as Jenn, Steph, and Richard walk out of Jenn's apartment.

Jenn: How's the song going, Rob?
Rob: Oh, not too bad. I am having a little trouble finding a good next chord though.
Richard: How close are you to the end of the song?
Rob: Oh, still on the first verse.
Steph: Well...Good luck with that.
Rob: Thanks. Where are you all off to?
Jenn: The screening of "The Whale Tale".
Rob: Isn't that by the director of "Dolphin Fervor"?
Richard: Sure is.
Rob: I thought that was quite interesting, didn't you?
Jenn: Um...yeah. See you later, Rob. Good luck with that second chord.
(Rob goes back to playing his first chord over and over again.)
(in the elevator)
Steph: I worry about him sometimes.
Jenn: I do too.
Richard: Yeah, I mean how is he ever going to write a hit song if he can't figure out more than one chord for a song. The lyrics are there, but the songs put me to sleep with the monotonous tune.
Steph: Maybe he'll figure it out some day.
Jenn: We can always hope, but we should remain realistic.
Richard: At least he is a nice guy.
Steph: We always seem to come back to that comment.

Scene three

Outside the building the three find another neighbor trying to open his car door.
Jenn: What's up, Fred? New car, isn't that?
Fred: Yeah, state of the art. The only problem is, it doesn't have keys, it's supposed to be all keyless and identify you by fingerprint scan.
Steph: Cool, so what's the problem?
Fred: It doesn't recognize me. It keeps telling me that it's not my car.
Richard: They most have spoiled it at the dealership. It wants to go back.
Fred: The only thing I can think is maybe that paper cut I had when I first got the car screwed up the identification process.
Steph: Better go slit your finger.
Fred: I always hated paper cuts, but this is like pouring lemon on the wound.
Jenn: Well, good luck with that.
Fred: Thanks. You all have a good night.

Scene four

Following the movie

Jenn: I feel so drained.
Steph: Catatonic almost.
Richard: Please.
Jenn: What?
Richard: My brain isn't functioning properly. I am having trouble comprehending your conversation.
Jenn: Our conversation was a total of six words.
Richard: That director should be shot.
Jenn: Can I quote you on that?
Richard: Don't you always?
Steph: I didn't think the director could get worse after "Dolphins"....I think I was wrong.
Jenn: Definantly worse.
Richard: Crap.
Steph: I agree with you there.
Richard: Pure crap.
Steph: No, I think it was more muddled crap. I'm still not sure what the purpose was.
Jenn: How am I supposed to write a 300 word review if I don't even know what the movie was about?
Steph: I don't know. I sure wouldn't want your job right now.
Richard: Ditto.
Jenn: I hope the new editor didn't like "Dolphins".
Steph: Why is that?
Jenn: Because then they shouldn't mind if I trash this movie too.
Steph: Considering it is basically the same movie, that is a good theory.
Richard: But this one was worse. So much worse.
Steph: Why should they even mind if you trash a movie or not? You are a reviewer, your job is to review the movie and tell what you think, right?
Jenn: Well, in a perfect world, that would be the job of a reviewer, but the last editor got yelled at a few times when I said things about certain movie theatres playing certain horrible movies on their screens.
Richard: Yeah, didn't that one theatre shut down because you noticed a trend in them showing horrible movies and charging a whole lot more than the other theatres?
Jenn: Well, I don't want to take all the credit, but that's what they seemed to think.
Steph: I did think it was a little obscene to charge twelve bucks to see that Mariah Carey movie.
Jenn: Didn't I tell you never to mention that movie in my presence? It gives me nightmares just thinking about it.
Steph: Sorry.
Richard: So what are you going to do about the review?
Jenn: Well, it doesn't run for a few days. The movie doesn't open until Friday, if the editor doesn't like my review, she can always get a better one before that...Though I doubt anyone will have good things to say about that sorry excuse for the $12 million production tab.

Scene Five

The next morning at Jenn's work, she is sitting at her desk playing solitaire on her computer when her phone rings. It's the new entertainment editor, Denise Jobs.

Jenn: Oh hi, Denise. How are you?
Denise: Fine, thanks. Could you possibly come down to my office for a few minutes? I'd like to discuss your review.
Jenn: Oh, well, you know, Denise, I'm kind of busy at the moment. Maybe after lunch I can squeeze you in.
Denise: Jenn, you do know that I'm right next to your desk and I can see the only thing of importance that you are up to is playing solitaire?
Jenn: Oh. I'll be right over.
(In Denise's office)
Denise: Have a seat, Jenn.
Jenn: Before you start ripping my review, let me just say that I love how you have decorated your office.
Denise: Jenn, I just wanted to let you know I have always admired your reviews. They are so honest, it almost seems like you want to save everyone from seeing the same horrible movies that you have. When I was a reviewer, I tended to over look the bad parts about the movie and just look for the good points.
Jenn: You mean I don't have to edit for content?
Denise: Do you do that often?
Jenn: Every week for every year I've been here.
Denise: Well, you might as well stop expecting it.
Jenn: Too bad, I had already started to revise.
Denise: I think the review is fine the way it is. Very honest and open. I haven't seen the movie yet, and don't intend to. I have not liked a movie by this director yet, and he writes his own screenplays, so there's really no hope that his movies will improve.
Jenn: That's a very good observation
Denise: Thank you.
Jenn: I think I'm going to like having you as the editor.

Closing thoughts. At this point in the show, Jenn reflects on the events of the show.

This, I have learned: Rob has yet to progress to a new chord in yet another new song. The new editor is going to be much better than the last, plus, she doesn't seem to be a psychopath like the last one. She even likes my reviews, always a pleasant surprise, since when people find out who I am, I often get an earful about how wrong I am about a movie. But all always rise above the good and the bad. After all, I am just Jenn.

posted August 08, 2002 10:28 AM            

Richard

posted August 08, 2002 03:53 PM            

Episode 2

Credits End and screen goes to black, loud music can be heard in the blackness as the picture clears Jenn is dancing on the couch of her living room. A loud banging on the wall can be heard over the music.

Richard: Jenn turn it down, I am working

Jenn continues dancing oblivious to Richard’s screams

The front door of Jenn’s apartment flings open and Richard standing in the open doorway.

Richard: Jenn! Jenn! Jennifer!
Jenn: Oh hey Rich
Richard: Jenn turn it down NOW!

Jenn dances over to the stereo singing “On a High”, she turns off the music

Jenn: Better?
Richard: What were you doing?
Jenn: Working
Richard: Last time I checked you review movies, not music
Jenn: I was clearing my head, I could not write one more mind numbing sentence about the crud Hollywood puts out
Richard: Why do you do it if you hate movies so much?
Jenn: I see it as a public service, someone has to tell people how to think, imagine if I let people think for themselves, chaos I tell you pure chaos.
Richard: You don’t think much of humans eh, super alien goddess from Mars?
Jenn: It hurts my brain to think of them.

There is a knock on the door.

Jenn: Enter
Richard: At your own risk!
Steph opens the door
Richard: Watch out Steph she is in one of her superior intelligence, supreme being moods
Steph: Jenn, never, I do not believe it
Jenn: It is not superior intelligence and I am not a supreme being, I am just smarter than everyone else (Jenn laughs)
Steph: So what is the plan for tonight?
Jenn: I am just hanging, I leave for a junket tomorrow
Richard: Well if my annoying neighbor keeps the music down, I am working
Steph: Come on guys it is Friday night, party night and I do not have a date
Jenn: I could hook you up
Steph: With who?
Jenn: Well I don’t know, Matt is out of town, Ben is with him
Richard: That’s a shock, what is up with those two?
Jenn: It is called friendship, ever heard of it? Perhaps if you got your nose out of a book sometime
Richard: My nose would be out of a book, if once in awhile I could actually focus on what I was reading over the noise in here.
Jenn: You want to talk noise; did you hear me complain about the screaming woman you were entertaining two days ago? I though you were killing someone.
Richard: Pure Pleasure baby
Jenn: Someone call a doctor, Rich is having a delusional moment
Steph: Come on guys, lets go out
Jenn: I am not seeing a movie
Richard: Lets go to Sam’s
Jenn: Hello, this is not an episode of Seinfeld and I not sitting in a dinner all night

Rob sticks his head in the door

Rob: If it was an episode of Seinfeld you freaks would actually be funny
Steph: How goes the song, Rob?
Rob: You know, well, it is okay I guess. I better get back to it
Jenn: What was that?
Richard: It was Rob
Jenn: I am not blind, I know that
Richard: Then what are you asking for?
Steph: I am not going anywhere if you two are going to bicker all night
Jenn: We won’t, right Dicky-boy?
Richard: What ever you say Jenny-girl.
Steph: Lets rent ‘Glitter’
Jenn: Oh sorry my TV is broke
Richard: For a broken TV it works pretty well
Jenn: It will be broken if we put Glitter on
Steph: Oh Jenn is going to do an Elvis
Jenn: You got it! Lets go if we are going to go

Scene 2

Outside the apartment complex. Jenn, Rich and Steph are standing on the sidewalk, still unsure of where to go

Jenn: Steph you are the one that wanted to go out, decide now or I am going back inside
Steph: High Note?
Jenn: Fine with me
Richard: Me too

Kellye walks towards the threesome standing on the sidewalk

Jenn: Hey Kell Wanna come with us?
Kellye: Where are you going?
Steph: High Note
Kellye: No, it is too smoky and dirty and people drink
Jenn: Oh no, not drinking, I did not know people drink there, I can not go either

Jenn sits on the curb

Fred: Why is Jenn on the curb? It is not trash day.
Jenn: That was very unfunky Fred. Hey do you want to come to High Note?
Fred: Got a date, got a date
Jenn: That is why you have on your funk pants, eh? Hey someone give me their cell phone
Richard: Is this the same woman that wrote the entire article about her hate for all things cellular?
Jenn: I hate them in the car, in restaurants and in movie theatres, I am on the sidewalk standing, therefore they are okay.
Steph: Here, who you calling?
Jenn: My new boss Denise, ya’ll will love her

Jenn: Hey Denise it is Jenn. Some friends and I are heading over to High Note, want to come? – Okay – okay – yeah that sounds good, see ya there.

Jenn: Denise is going to met us there.

Kellye and Fred leave the group and Jenn hails a cab

Scene 3 – Outside the High Note, having just gotten out of the cab

Jenn: It is going to be one of those night I can feel it.
Steph: Come on Jenn, he was a sexy one
Jenn: And his cab smelt like rotting cheese. Why do the freaks and weirdoes always like me?
Steph: We like you
Jenn: See what I mean. Guys if one more freak comes on to me tonight I will go windmill on their ass.
Richard: Hey sexy baby! (Richard puts his arm around Jenn and licks her face)
Jenn: You just licked me!
Richard: Just your face, given the chance…
Steph covers her ears and sings
Steph: I do not want to know!
Jenn: Oh hey there is Denise. Denise, Steph, Richard. Steph, Richard, Denise.
Richard: Hey sexy baby
Jenn: She is married Rich and my boss, and besides does that line ever work?
Richard: Nope, and it is really just a social experiment, I like to see if cheese ever does work
Steph: Well the stench of cheese was not helping that cabbie

Scene 4 – Inside the High Note – Immediately a man that comes to Jenn’s breasts height wise comes over.
Guy: Hey sexy baby!
Jenn: Goodbye!
Richard: He used my line
Jenn: But he did not lick me
Richard: True and it is really all about the lick.
Jenn: Yeah cause that got you far
Denise: There is a table
Jenn: Cool. Did we lose Steph already?
Denise: Oh Jenn, there is J.Lo
Jenn: Hide me, I totally dissed her last movie
Richard: The one with booby shots, how could you?
Jenn: Well I was not buying it as a supposed a deep moving exploration of the bonds of sisterhood, and the breasts shots just made no sense
Richard: Because it was a chick flick, and they tried to make it appeal to men

Another man approaches Jenn

Guy2: I am not Fred Flintstone but I could sure make your bed rock
Jenn: B for originality, C for cheese
Denise: Oh my, seriously I think we could make a movie based on those bad pick up lines
Richard: And Jenn would still give it half a star
Jenn: I do not give stars, have you never read my column? Keep in mind, my boss is sitting here
Denise: I am not your boss tonight
Richard: And why would I read it? I see the movies with you and get to listen to you bitch the entire movie.
Jenn: Fine then, no more press peaks for you

Steph walks over to the table

Steph: Oh is she threatening Rich again?
Denise: Apparently. You two are such a fun couple.
Richard and Jenn: COUPLE?!
Jenn: We are neighbors
Denise: Must be a friendly neighborhood.

Scene 5 – In cab on the way home

Steph: I like Denise
Jenn: How would you know I swear you were with us like 5 minutes, you spent a lot of time with that man at the bar
Steph: His name was Scott
Jenn: Stephanie and Scott, sitting in a tree
Richard: Steph is right you know, Denise is nice.
Jenn: Yep it is good to get a good boss
Richard: So when you leave tomorrow?
Jenn: 8 am
Richard: Well see you next week.
Jenn: I have an idea guys, come with me, plane tickets are on me.
Steph: Sweet

Closing thoughts:

posted August 12, 2002 11:55 AM            

I guess its okay, though, if its in the name of comedy. Hopefully, I'll be able to contribute something later this week. Something that's able to live up to the standards of the previous two episodes. Boy, I have my work cut out for me.