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sweetsnail	So a few of us talked about writing a sitcom called "Just Jenn". It stars, of course, all of us. This thread is open to everyone's contribution as well, so don't be afraid to jump right in. Here's my first installment. The credits open with a view of an apartment building from a handheld camera and then a view from inside one of the apartments, looking down on the city. A view down a hall in the building, one by one, the doors open and a head sticks out from each one, all characters wave. The camera reverses to show the lead character of the show, Jenn. "Just Jenn" appears on the screen as Jenn's image fades. The show opens with Jenn talking on the phone to an unknown person. There's a knock on the door and still talking, she opens it and Richard and Steph walk in. They proceed to sit on the couch and watch as Jenn paces back and forth listening to whatever the person on the phone is saying. Richard: So who do you bet it is this time? Steph: I don't know. Maybe that actor fellow she went out with the other night. What was his name? Richard: Ben something, wasn't it? That taller dude who was in Armageddon. Steph: No, he was the week before. This one was Tom something. Jenn: I don't think it's working out. Sorry. Have a good day. (she hangs up the phone and looks at Richard and Steph) It's just difficult when people don't get the hint. It's like you don't want to be mean, but at the same time you don't really care and want them to get the hint and bug off. Steph: Yes. I have the same problem. Richard: I never have that problem. I can be quite blunt. Jenn: Good for you. You should really give us a lesson in being blunt one day. Richard: I'll definantly think about that. So what was wrong with this dude. Jenn: Well, for one thing, he wore sandals on our date. Steph: What's wrong with sandals? Jenn: The sandals weren't the problem, it was his feet that bothered me. They were just...well, ugly. After one look, I could hardly carry on a conversation without thinking about his hideous feet. He was in serious need of a pedicure. Richard: Oh yes. Feet have always been the way my relationships have been made or broken. Steph: Well, I guess every man can't be Garth Brooks. Jenn: True, but I think you could at least take the time to scrub the dirt off your feet so your toenails don't look so black like they are about to fall off. Anyway, what's new with you two? Steph: Nothing. Richard: Not much. Jenn: Sounds terribly exciting. Steph: Well, are we going to see a new movie tonight? Jenn: Oh, I almost forgot. Yes. That one about whales. Looks like a bunch of crap. Richard: Well, couldn't be much worse than that one about dolphins. Jenn: I think it could be. It's got the same director. He probably substituted whales for dolphins and recycled the script. Steph: I can hardly contain my excitement. Jenn: Well, I need your support guys. Otherwise I'll be tempted to fall asleep or run out before the opening credits finish, which ever comes first. Richard: Who allows crap like "Dolphin Fervor" to even get in the door of a movie exec's office? Jenn: Same people who think "American Beauty" was a masterpiece, I guess. Steph: Now you know I liked it. Jenn: And I'll forgive your faults since you are my friend. Steph: Thanks. Scene two A guy is sitting outside in the hallway playing guitar as Jenn, Steph, and Richard walk out of Jenn's apartment. Jenn: How's the song going, Rob? Rob: Oh, not too bad. I am having a little trouble finding a good next chord though. Richard: How close are you to the end of the song? Rob: Oh, still on the first verse. Steph: Well...Good luck with that. Rob: Thanks. Where are you all off to? Jenn: The screening of "The Whale Tale". Rob: Isn't that by the director of "Dolphin Fervor"? Richard: Sure is. Rob: I thought that was quite interesting, didn't you? Jenn: Um...yeah. See you later, Rob. Good luck with that second chord. (Rob goes back to playing his first chord over and over again.) (in the elevator) Steph: I worry about him sometimes. Jenn: I do too. Richard: Yeah, I mean how is he ever going to write a hit song if he can't figure out more than one chord for a song. The lyrics are there, but the songs put me to sleep with the monotonous tune. Steph: Maybe he'll figure it out some day. Jenn: We can always hope, but we should remain realistic. Richard: At least he is a nice guy. Steph: We always seem to come back to that comment. Scene three Outside the building the three find another neighbor trying to open his car door. Jenn: What's up, Fred? New car, isn't that? Fred: Yeah, state of the art. The only problem is, it doesn't have keys, it's supposed to be all keyless and identify you by fingerprint scan. Steph: Cool, so what's the problem? Fred: It doesn't recognize me. It keeps telling me that it's not my car. Richard: They most have spoiled it at the dealership. It wants to go back. Fred: The only thing I can think is maybe that paper cut I had when I first got the car screwed up the identification process. Steph: Better go slit your finger. Fred: I always hated paper cuts, but this is like pouring lemon on the wound. Jenn: Well, good luck with that. Fred: Thanks. You all have a good night. Scene four Following the movie Jenn: I feel so drained. Steph: Catatonic almost. Richard: Please. Jenn: What? Richard: My brain isn't functioning properly. I am having trouble comprehending your conversation. Jenn: Our conversation was a total of six words. Richard: That director should be shot. Jenn: Can I quote you on that? Richard: Don't you always? Steph: I didn't think the director could get worse after "Dolphins"....I think I was wrong. Jenn: Definantly worse. Richard: Crap. Steph: I agree with you there. Richard: Pure crap. Steph: No, I think it was more muddled crap. I'm still not sure what the purpose was. Jenn: How am I supposed to write a 300 word review if I don't even know what the movie was about? Steph: I don't know. I sure wouldn't want your job right now. Richard: Ditto. Jenn: I hope the new editor didn't like "Dolphins". Steph: Why is that? Jenn: Because then they shouldn't mind if I trash this movie too. Steph: Considering it is basically the same movie, that is a good theory. Richard: But this one was worse. So much worse. Steph: Why should they even mind if you trash a movie or not? You are a reviewer, your job is to review the movie and tell what you think, right? Jenn: Well, in a perfect world, that would be the job of a reviewer, but the last editor got yelled at a few times when I said things about certain movie theatres playing certain horrible movies on their screens. Richard: Yeah, didn't that one theatre shut down because you noticed a trend in them showing horrible movies and charging a whole lot more than the other theatres? Jenn: Well, I don't want to take all the credit, but that's what they seemed to think. Steph: I did think it was a little obscene to charge twelve bucks to see that Mariah Carey movie. Jenn: Didn't I tell you never to mention that movie in my presence? It gives me nightmares just thinking about it. Steph: Sorry. Richard: So what are you going to do about the review? Jenn: Well, it doesn't run for a few days. The movie doesn't open until Friday, if the editor doesn't like my review, she can always get a better one before that...Though I doubt anyone will have good things to say about that sorry excuse for the $12 million production tab. Scene Five The next morning at Jenn's work, she is sitting at her desk playing solitaire on her computer when her phone rings. It's the new entertainment editor, Denise Jobs. Jenn: Oh hi, Denise. How are you? Denise: Fine, thanks. Could you possibly come down to my office for a few minutes? I'd like to discuss your review. Jenn: Oh, well, you know, Denise, I'm kind of busy at the moment. Maybe after lunch I can squeeze you in. Denise: Jenn, you do know that I'm right next to your desk and I can see the only thing of importance that you are up to is playing solitaire? Jenn: Oh. I'll be right over. (In Denise's office) Denise: Have a seat, Jenn. Jenn: Before you start ripping my review, let me just say that I love how you have decorated your office. Denise: Jenn, I just wanted to let you know I have always admired your reviews. They are so honest, it almost seems like you want to save everyone from seeing the same horrible movies that you have. When I was a reviewer, I tended to over look the bad parts about the movie and just look for the good points. Jenn: You mean I don't have to edit for content? Denise: Do you do that often? Jenn: Every week for every year I've been here. Denise: Well, you might as well stop expecting it. Jenn: Too bad, I had already started to revise. Denise: I think the review is fine the way it is. Very honest and open. I haven't seen the movie yet, and don't intend to. I have not liked a movie by this director yet, and he writes his own screenplays, so there's really no hope that his movies will improve. Jenn: That's a very good observation Denise: Thank you. Jenn: I think I'm going to like having you as the editor. Closing thoughts. At this point in the show, Jenn reflects on the events of the show. This, I have learned: Rob has yet to progress to a new chord in yet another new song. The new editor is going to be much better than the last, plus, she doesn't seem to be a psychopath like the last one. She even likes my reviews, always a pleasant surprise, since when people find out who I am, I often get an earful about how wrong I am about a movie. But all always rise above the good and the bad. After all, I am just Jenn. In our next episode, look for appearances of new characters, and of course Jenn. There's also a chance that a celebrity or two will appear.....
JustJenn	Okay I have to do a Molly Shannon "I love it, I love it, I love it" leg kick! Steph pure brillance, I really do think you should consider a career in television... I had an interesting credit sequence worked out ages ago, but now I guess I will have to get to work...
BryterLayter77	Oh my God, Steph, that was absolutely fantastic. I have to give you major props here. I think we have found Steph's calling. One day, Steph could win an Emmy! I'm totally blown away! Richard [This message has been edited by BryterLayter77 (edited August 08, 2002).]
aileen	Steph that was fantastic!!! I got a feva and the only cure is..... More Just Jenn! (ok another SNL reference, sorry)
JustJenn	Okay so I am sure this sucks anus in comparison to the brillance that was Steph, but here goes my go round... Episode 2 Credits End and screen goes to black, loud music can be heard in the blackness as the picture clears Jenn is dancing on the couch of her living room. A loud banging on the wall can be heard over the music. Richard: Jenn turn it down, I am working Jenn continues dancing oblivious to Richard’s screams The front door of Jenn’s apartment flings open and Richard standing in the open doorway. Richard: Jenn! Jenn! Jennifer! Jenn: Oh hey Rich Richard: Jenn turn it down NOW! Jenn dances over to the stereo singing “On a High”, she turns off the music Jenn: Better? Richard: What were you doing? Jenn: Working Richard: Last time I checked you review movies, not music Jenn: I was clearing my head, I could not write one more mind numbing sentence about the crud Hollywood puts out Richard: Why do you do it if you hate movies so much? Jenn: I see it as a public service, someone has to tell people how to think, imagine if I let people think for themselves, chaos I tell you pure chaos. Richard: You don’t think much of humans eh, super alien goddess from Mars? Jenn: It hurts my brain to think of them. There is a knock on the door. Jenn: Enter Richard: At your own risk! Steph opens the door Richard: Watch out Steph she is in one of her superior intelligence, supreme being moods Steph: Jenn, never, I do not believe it Jenn: It is not superior intelligence and I am not a supreme being, I am just smarter than everyone else (Jenn laughs) Steph: So what is the plan for tonight? Jenn: I am just hanging, I leave for a junket tomorrow Richard: Well if my annoying neighbor keeps the music down, I am working Steph: Come on guys it is Friday night, party night and I do not have a date Jenn: I could hook you up Steph: With who? Jenn: Well I don’t know, Matt is out of town, Ben is with him Richard: That’s a shock, what is up with those two? Jenn: It is called friendship, ever heard of it? Perhaps if you got your nose out of a book sometime Richard: My nose would be out of a book, if once in awhile I could actually focus on what I was reading over the noise in here. Jenn: You want to talk noise; did you hear me complain about the screaming woman you were entertaining two days ago? I though you were killing someone. Richard: Pure Pleasure baby Jenn: Someone call a doctor, Rich is having a delusional moment Steph: Come on guys, lets go out Jenn: I am not seeing a movie Richard: Lets go to Sam’s Jenn: Hello, this is not an episode of Seinfeld and I not sitting in a dinner all night Rob sticks his head in the door Rob: If it was an episode of Seinfeld you freaks would actually be funny Steph: How goes the song, Rob? Rob: You know, well, it is okay I guess. I better get back to it Jenn: What was that? Richard: It was Rob Jenn: I am not blind, I know that Richard: Then what are you asking for? Steph: I am not going anywhere if you two are going to bicker all night Jenn: We won’t, right Dicky-boy? Richard: What ever you say Jenny-girl. Steph: Lets rent ‘Glitter’ Jenn: Oh sorry my TV is broke Richard: For a broken TV it works pretty well Jenn: It will be broken if we put Glitter on Steph: Oh Jenn is going to do an Elvis Jenn: You got it! Lets go if we are going to go Scene 2 Outside the apartment complex. Jenn, Rich and Steph are standing on the sidewalk, still unsure of where to go Jenn: Steph you are the one that wanted to go out, decide now or I am going back inside Steph: High Note? Jenn: Fine with me Richard: Me too Kellye walks towards the threesome standing on the sidewalk Jenn: Hey Kell Wanna come with us? Kellye: Where are you going? Steph: High Note Kellye: No, it is too smoky and dirty and people drink Jenn: Oh no, not drinking, I did not know people drink there, I can not go either Jenn sits on the curb Fred: Why is Jenn on the curb? It is not trash day. Jenn: That was very unfunky Fred. Hey do you want to come to High Note? Fred: Got a date, got a date Jenn: That is why you have on your funk pants, eh? Hey someone give me their cell phone Richard: Is this the same woman that wrote the entire article about her hate for all things cellular? Jenn: I hate them in the car, in restaurants and in movie theatres, I am on the sidewalk standing, therefore they are okay. Steph: Here, who you calling? Jenn: My new boss Denise, ya’ll will love her Jenn: Hey Denise it is Jenn. Some friends and I are heading over to High Note, want to come? – Okay – okay – yeah that sounds good, see ya there. Jenn: Denise is going to met us there. Kellye and Fred leave the group and Jenn hails a cab Scene 3 – Outside the High Note, having just gotten out of the cab Jenn: It is going to be one of those night I can feel it. Steph: Come on Jenn, he was a sexy one Jenn: And his cab smelt like rotting cheese. Why do the freaks and weirdoes always like me? Steph: We like you Jenn: See what I mean. Guys if one more freak comes on to me tonight I will go windmill on their ass. Richard: Hey sexy baby! (Richard puts his arm around Jenn and licks her face) Jenn: You just licked me! Richard: Just your face, given the chance… Steph covers her ears and sings Steph: I do not want to know! Jenn: Oh hey there is Denise. Denise, Steph, Richard. Steph, Richard, Denise. Richard: Hey sexy baby Jenn: She is married Rich and my boss, and besides does that line ever work? Richard: Nope, and it is really just a social experiment, I like to see if cheese ever does work Steph: Well the stench of cheese was not helping that cabbie Scene 4 – Inside the High Note – Immediately a man that comes to Jenn’s breasts height wise comes over. Guy: Hey sexy baby! Jenn: Goodbye! Richard: He used my line Jenn: But he did not lick me Richard: True and it is really all about the lick. Jenn: Yeah cause that got you far Denise: There is a table Jenn: Cool. Did we lose Steph already? Denise: Oh Jenn, there is J.Lo Jenn: Hide me, I totally dissed her last movie Richard: The one with booby shots, how could you? Jenn: Well I was not buying it as a supposed a deep moving exploration of the bonds of sisterhood, and the breasts shots just made no sense Richard: Because it was a chick flick, and they tried to make it appeal to men Another man approaches Jenn Guy2: I am not Fred Flintstone but I could sure make your bed rock Jenn: B for originality, C for cheese Denise: Oh my, seriously I think we could make a movie based on those bad pick up lines Richard: And Jenn would still give it half a star Jenn: I do not give stars, have you never read my column? Keep in mind, my boss is sitting here Denise: I am not your boss tonight Richard: And why would I read it? I see the movies with you and get to listen to you bitch the entire movie. Jenn: Fine then, no more press peaks for you Steph walks over to the table Steph: Oh is she threatening Rich again? Denise: Apparently. You two are such a fun couple. Richard and Jenn: COUPLE?! Jenn: We are neighbors Denise: Must be a friendly neighborhood. Scene 5 – In cab on the way home Steph: I like Denise Jenn: How would you know I swear you were with us like 5 minutes, you spent a lot of time with that man at the bar Steph: His name was Scott Jenn: Stephanie and Scott, sitting in a tree Richard: Steph is right you know, Denise is nice. Jenn: Yep it is good to get a good boss Richard: So when you leave tomorrow? Jenn: 8 am Richard: Well see you next week. Jenn: I have an idea guys, come with me, plane tickets are on me. Steph: Sweet Closing thoughts: This I have learnt – the closer they come to my breasts the cheeser the pick up lines get. The freaks and weirdoes love me, and one day maybe one of them will marry me…
sunday's child	Hmm, there's an image of Sarah Jessica Parker rotating in my mind... could be "sex and the pity". No way back now, keep em coming, this is my idea of fun. Good work, I'm pleased...
sweetsnail	hehe. that was hilarious Jenn. My sides hurt from laughing. I'm so glad you all liked my episode. I wasn't sure how it would be received. I wasn't sure if it was very good. -steph
ericka	bravo!
BryterLayter77	Why do I get the feeling that I didn't come off looking too good in this past episode?? In real life, I would never use those cheap pick-up lines, nor would I have followed that up with a lick on the face. That's just gross! I guess its okay, though, if its in the name of comedy. Hopefully, I'll be able to contribute something later this week. Something that's able to live up to the standards of the previous two episodes. Boy, I have my work cut out for me. Richard
JustJenn	Richard, Richard, Richard, you take me too seriously. I know you would not say such things or lick my face...
sunday's child	I wouldn't be that sure, Jenn...
DUNCANStwirler7	Oh mY oh my oh my, this is GREAT!! jEN
BryterLayter77	Oh pipe down, Alex(ander). You're just jealous that Jenn didn't have you use those lines or lick her face. Deep down, you know you wanted to be the one to do those things. By the way, I was able to look at the photos you sent me, finally! I knew it took me close to forever, but I did look at them. Personally, I really loved those scenic shots you took of the mountain. The photos remind me of trips I would take to Middleburg, VA with my father and cousin, and I would get to see the Blue Ridge Mountains. You're a great photographer! Richard P.S.: I'm trying to come up with an episode, but I'm suffering from writer's block right now.
sunday's child	Richard, Richard, Richard... slap the dog, stroke the dog... Thanks and good to know you like the pics BUT I gotta tell you, you're wrong man... I'm just jealous because I wanted to play Jenn's part in this specific situation...
sweetsnail	well, dang it, Richard, you need to get over that writer's block. You had some good ideas the other night...roll with the flow buddy! Then I can write another episode. -steph
BryterLayter77	I'm sorry Steph, but things were very busy for me yesterday. However, I will say that I'm starting to get out of my writer's block. I've written what I think is a very good beginning to the story. Now, I just need to write a middle and an end. Some of the ideas I told you about Saturday night/Sunday morning will be in the story, but I'm going to go with another storyline. One that is perhaps a bit more funnier...hopefully. We'll wait and see. Richard
Wishful Thinker	alrighty, just put me in as the wacky neighbor who for some odd reason gets the ladies...lol
sweetsnail	hehe. Ok Kramer! -steph
sunday's child	I could be the 'strange' exchange student... or a journalist... or a fire fighter... or an astronaut...
BryterLayter77	Episode #3: "Mad Cowell's Disease--Part I." Scene 1: [Jenn, Steph, and Richard are returning from a morning run to Altitude bakery, one of Toronto's better known bakeries located at 1346 Queen Street East. As the gang returns to their apartments at Toronto Towers, they smell something good coming from Rob's apartment.] Jenn: Holy shite, guys, I can't believe Altitude had my chocolate eclaires. I love them so much. If they didn't have them, I was going to spaz. Steph: Thank God they had them, the last thing I want to see is you spazing out, Jenn. Jenn: Oh pipe down, Steph. I'm never that bad. I'm always the beacon of manners. Richard: Whatever you say, Sparky. Jenn [turning red]: Don't get me started. Steph: What smells so good? Jenn: I don't know. Richard, did you get blueberry muffins? Richard: No, I didn't, but it does smell good. Steph: I think its coming from Rob's apartment. [At that moment, the guitar that usually plays inside Rob's apartment; you know, the one that usually only plays one chord. It stops playing. Rob opens his door.] Rob: Hey guys, what's going on? Jenn: Hi Rob, nothing much. We're just returning from Altitude. Do you know what smells so good? Rob: Does it smell like blueberries? Steph: Yes. Rob: That's my protein drink. I usually drink a few a day in order to make my body look good enough to appeal the record executives. Jenn: Does it taste as good as it smells? Rob: No, it tastes like ass. Steph: How would you know what ass tastes like? Rob [blushes] Richard: So, its true. You've had more ass than a toilet seat. Rob: Now, wouldn't you like to know how my weekends go. Richard: I know how your weekends go. You just sit around and play that one chord, over and over. But we love you anyway. Steph: You're a nice guy. Rob: So, I'm told, over and over again. Jenn: It comes up often. [At this point, someone else emerges from Rob's apartment. His name is W. Tiddy Bear, a pimp and a friend of Rob's. Tiddy Bear is staying with Rob until he can find a place in the Toronto area. However, with the sunglasses, fur coat, and the hat with the feather in it, Tiddy Bear is a throwback to the 1970s.] Steph: Oh my, who are you? W.T.B.: I'm W. Tiddy Bear, but you can call me Tiddy Bear. I'm the pimp that's never limp, a lover extraordinaire. Jenn: Oye, I think I've died and gone to 70s hell. Steph: That's cool how that rhymes. W.T.B.: I rhyme all the time. The ladies, they think that's fine. Richard [interrupts]: That last part didn't rhyme. W.T.B.: If you'd have the paitience, to let me finish my sentence, you would have heard me say, "The ladies, the think that's fine. So, they dine with me and sixty-nine with me." Steph: What are you doing staying with Rob? W.T.B.: I needed a place real bad, until I could find my own pad. Thankfully, Rob was a real friend, and let me stay with him in the end. Jenn: These rhymes are getting stale. W.T.B.: Oooh baby, no rhyme is ever stale if you'd let me have some of your tail. Jenn: That line was as bad as the lines given to me during the last show. Oye, oye, oye [starts banging her head against the wall]. Richard: Looks like the pimp can't score with all the women. W.T.B.: Brother, I hear your concern, but just watch and learn. [Kellye comes by to see Jenn and Steph, but at the same time, she falls pray to Tiddy Bear's seductive lines] Kellye [to Tiddy Bear]: Hi. W.T.B.: Hey baby, maybe we can go inside so I can take you for a little ride. You can see my scene if you know what I mean. Kellye: Huh? Is that a pick up line? Rob: Tiddy Bear, she's not that kind of girl. She's deeply religious. W.T.B.: How religious could she be after seeing me? Richard: Watch. [Richard looks at Kellye and, in the voice of a minister, says] Richard: Honk if you love Jesus! Kellye: Honk, honk, honk, honk. [Richard gives Kellye a cookie] Steph: Bad Richard, you are so going to hell for that. Richard: You know we all love Kellye, and there's nothing wrong with her expressing her love for Jesus. I'm just trying to show Tiddy Bear that he isn't going to score with her. W.T.B.: My brother, I'm a lover like no other. Give me a chance, and we'll do that horizontal dance. Kellye: Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww, not unless I'm married and you're Chris Klein. Jenn: On that note, I think I'll just go inside my apartment and get ready for the day. Scene 2: [Jenn goes inside her apartment and gets ready for work. After she finishes dressing, she drives into work where she meets Aileen.] Aileen: Good morning, Jenn. Jenn: Morning Aileen, how are you? Aileen: I'm fine, but I want you to know that I have some important news for you. Jenn: Do you? Aileen: Yes, I do. I was contacted earlier today by some television creators, and they want to know whether or not you would be interested in starring in a new reality based program. Its called "Spot the Shooting Movie Star," and the creators are hoping to have the pilot purchased by one of the networks for viewing in the fall. Jenn: What will I be doing? I'm not an actress. Aileen: They've read your reviews, and they love your honesty as much as I do. So, they want you to be one of the judges. Jenn: I'm not a big fan of reality shows. Aileen: You'll be paid $200,000 an episode if the creators can get the show sold and they decide to keep you as one of the judges. Jenn: Sign me up. Aileen: Great, you'll be working with celebrated filmmaker Guy Maddin and producer Robert Lantos. They'll be the two other judges, while David Steinberg and Babz Chula will be hosts. Jenn: Sweet, I love Babz Chula's work, especially in Kanada. Aileen: I'll tell the creators right now that you'll do the show. Right now, they'll be taping the pilot episode on Saturday. Scene 3: [Steph and Richard are in Richard's apartment, watching television. During a commercial, Steph wonders if Tiddy Bear is really a pimp.] Steph: Don't you find it a bit funny that Tiddy Bear calls himself a pimp, but he doesn't have a stable of women to whore off on the public? Richard: I'm not sure. Well, he's new. He's trying to see if he's able to build himself a stable. Steph: My God, you're starting to rhyme like him. Richard: I'm sorry, but you know, it really doesn't matter if he's a pimp or not. Steph: Yeah, but its funny that he couldn't score with anyone of us. Richard: Its odd, but like anyone else, all pimps need good love too every now and again. [Steph and Richard here a knock on the door. Its Tiddy Bear, with a girl on his arm and a guy standing next to him.] W.T.B.: My friends, my drought has come to an end. Richard: Score!! Steph: Great job, Tiddy Bear. W.T.B.: Steph, you're so sweet. The kind of girl I'd love to eat. So, I gave you a man dressed in red, so you two can have fun in your bed. Steph: Yes, score for me! Richard: What about me? W.T.B.: I'd love to help you out brother, but I just got myself a lover. Sometimes when sex ain't in demand, you're better off using your hand. Richard: So, that explains all the blisters on your hand. W.T.B.: Please don't try to cut on me because I don't want another enemy. Like a gift from above, I just want to love. And I will, once this woman here takes her pill. [Steph and Tiddy Bear exit, leaving Richard alone. He sits on the couch, when the phone rings]. Jenn: Hey, Richard. Richard: Yes, Jenn. Jenn: Tell the gang that I have some important news. Richard: What news is that? Jenn: I'm going to be on television, doing a pilot for a show called "Spot the Shooting Movie Star." Richard: Is this going to be like Behind the Music? Jenn: No, its about finding the next big movie star. Richard: Oh, you of all people, to judge. My, there are few movies you like, and even fewer actors you enjoy. We're talking about wanna be's, and I can't wait to hear what you say. Jenn: Well, I loved "Moulin Rouge" thank you very much. Richard: And even the sun shines on a dog's ass every now and again. Jenn: Oh shut up, just tell the gang that they're invited to see me shoot the pilot episode this Saturday. Richard: Okay, I will. Jenn: I'm gonna be a star. Richard: Whatever you say, Sparky. Jenn: I'm not Sparky, okay. Just watch what you say, I'll remember it when you're working for me. Richard: Whatever you say, Sparky. Jenn: Errr. Scene 4: [Steph, Rob, Richard, Fred, Tina, Aileen, Alex, Kellye, and Tiddy Bear are all in the studio audience waiting for the show to begin.] [Kellye sits next to Tiddy Bear, who is looking to score again. Tiddy Bear puts his arm around Kellye, who immediately slaps his hand.] Kellye: Don't touch me. W.T.B.: I bet this is the most action since you've come from Jackson. Kellye: I'm not from Jackson, MS. I'm from Tuscaloosa, AL, home of the Tide. Roll Tide. W.T.B.: Roll tide, roll tide, baby I'd love to see your backside. [Kellye slaps Tiddy Bear. Undeterred, Tiddy Bear starts to hit on a female usher.] Female Usher: Can I help you? W.T.B.: Can you help me? Baby, I can help you, as you will see. Female Usher: How can you help me? W.T.B.: Let me know you, show you, and grow upon you. Female Usher: How will you show me? W.T.B. [with a devilish twinkle in his eye]: I'll show you, and you'll know too. [Tiddy Bear and the Female Usher walk up the stairs as the pilot begins filming. The hosts walk out, and begins the show.] David Steinberg: Good evening and welcome to "Spot the Shooting Movie Star." I'm your host, David Steinberg. With me is my co-host, the wonderful Babz Chula. Babz Chula: Thank you, David. I'm glad everyone could make it tonight, especially to see David's wonderful new outfit. D.S.: Its nothing really. Jenn: Of course it ain't nothing folks, David is dressed as a reject from "Attack of the Clones." B.C.: Ouch, for those of you who don't know, that's Jennifer McKeown who, with Guy Maddin and Robert Lantos, will be judging our contestants. D.S.: Judging by her black clothes, Jennifer looks more like Anne Robinson's rejected daughther than anyone else. Jenn: I wouldn't know that David. You would though, considering how far up her ass you are. Richard: What's Jenn doing? She not usually like this. Steph: Don't worry, she's acting, Rich. Its reality television, and they want conflict. Richard: Oh. [The show continued, and as each contestant came on to do their acting scenes, Jenn's critique was, as usual, honest and sharp. After one performance, Jenn said this to one contestant:] Jenn: Do you know how bad your acting was? Contestant: How? Jenn: It was so bad that they wouldn't even put you into a porn movie. [That had to hurt, but it was the truth. The contestant wasn't going to light the world on fire with his acting ability. With the last contestant finished, the show started to wrap up. Overall, "Spot the Shooting Movie Star" wasn't bad, but it wasn't Jenn either. After the show ended, Jenn sat a bit dejected in her dressing room. The gang, with the exception of Tiddy Bear (who was with the female usher), entered her room to talk to her.] Scene 5: Richard: That wasn't you out there. Jenn: I know. Richard: Why were you like that? Jenn: They told me to act belligerent in order to build tension and ratings. Richard: You're so much better than that, so much above that as well. Jenn: I know. Steph: We know you're better than that. Rob: Yes, we love you Jenn. Kellye: If this doesn't work out, I can see if I can get you a spot on "Blue's Clues" as Joe's new neighbor. Jenn: That's okay, but thank you anyway. Richard: Are you going to see about getting out of your contract? Jenn: I'll see what I can do, although I $200,000 an episode is a ton of money to pass up. Final Thought: Right now, I'm felling pretty conflicted. Its nice to have a television show, but I'd rather not have the wrath of the Canadian viewing public fall down upon my head. Yet, I know $200,000 an episode is a lot of money to pass up, and the . However, I also value my self worth. That's why I'm feeling a bit conflicted right now. Its a tough decision to make, to see if I can get out of my contract. Yet, I know my friends will be there for me. I'm just Jenn, and they love me. They have to love me, how can you not love me? Stay tuned for a next episode, as we find out whether or not Jenn will decide whether or not she wants to get out of her contract. I hope you all like the episode, although I can assure you that it pales in comparison with the previous two. Richard [This message has been edited by BryterLayter77 (edited August 25, 2002).]
sweetsnail	oohhhh, that was great Richard. You are so funny. You make us seem so funny. hehe. I will work on the next episode, but I don't know how fast it will come as I have a lot on my plate this week. Perhaps next weekend, maybe before that, hopefully before that. -steph
sweetsnail	So, what do you all think about the Final Thought? Should it stay or should it go? (oh, an urge to break into singing a great 80s song...). We could think of this like a writer's meeting where they cut out main characters like the extra Brady child and on Family Matters when they decided the youngest child didn't exist anymore and never explained where she went, or on Happy Days, the older brother....But this would not be cutting a person. Anyway, I'd like your thoughts on the Final Thought. -steph
BryterLayter77	I'm glad you liked the episode, Steph. As I told you yesterday, it was a tough one to write, but I was able to force a story out of myself. Its a painful process. As for the Final Thought, I think we should cut it because I connect that to "The Jerry Springer Show," which to me, I never knew it had a first thought let alone a final thought. I also become reminded of Doogie Howser M.D. At the end of each episode, Doogie always was typing something philosophical on his computer journal about what he learned during the episode. So, I just think we might be best served to cut the Final Thought segment. However, that doesn't mean we do away with a final segment all together. We should get our collective heads together and come up with something different and fresh. Oh well, that's my two cents anyway. Richard
sweetsnail	And here I thought I was being original....ah well. More comments?? -steph
sunday's child	Yes. Could you be so kind and stop mentioning Doogie Howser? There should be more M*A*S*H, we need a Hawkeye Pearce character. Hey, and if we have to mention Doogie Howser, what about some Parker Lewis?